What is the most useful advice for someone graduating?

That you do not need to have it figured out. Almost every good thing takes longer than the timeline in your head, and the pressure to arrive somewhere immediately after finishing school produces worse decisions than patience does.

How do I keep friendships after graduating?

By maintaining rather than only meeting. Most people put effort into new connections and let existing ones decay by default. Sending an update, checking in without a reason, and remembering specific things people told you costs very little and is unusual enough to matter.

Should I start creating content after I graduate?

It is worth doing if you have anything you are working through publicly. Writing about what you are learning tends to attract opportunities that would not have found you otherwise, and over time it does more work than a CV does.

Is it normal to feel behind after graduating?

Yes, and it is worth knowing that most of the evidence you are using is unreliable. You are comparing your unedited situation to other people's edited one. The feeling is nearly universal and is a poor guide to how you are actually doing.

What is the one habit worth building first?

Sleep. It is the cheapest available improvement to your mood, judgement and stamina, and almost nothing you produce late at night survives review the next morning.

Twenty things I wish someone had told me when I graduated

Ziyaan Virji · June 4, 2025

A lot of people I know were finishing school around the time I wrote this, and I found myself thinking about what I would say to my younger self on the day he graduated.

So this is that. Twenty things. Some are about how to treat people, some are about sleep and dental hygiene, and I am no longer confident the second group matters less.

If you are not graduating, most of it still applies. Transitions are just when you are most likely to be paying attention.

The twenty

1. This is a long game. You do not need it figured out. The best things take longer than the timeline in your head. Build for the version of you that exists in ten years.

2. Nothing matters more than your wellbeing. Not the awards, not the job, not the prestige. If you are not okay, none of the rest works.

3. Say thank you. To your family, your teachers, your mentors, your friends. Write it by hand. Call them. Let people know they mattered while you can still tell them.

4. Maintain relationships, do not just make them. Meeting new people is easy and slightly addictive. Keeping existing relationships alive is rarer and worth more. Send updates. Check in for no reason. Remember the small things people told you.

5. Brush your teeth at night. You know you get lazy about this. Do it anyway.

6. Sleep properly. You are not productive at two in the morning, you just feel busy. Sleep is the closest thing to a cheat code you get.

7. If it takes five minutes, do it now. Most of what sits on a list is smaller than the anxiety of it sitting there.

8. Stop comparing yourself to people online. Almost all of what you are seeing has been edited before it reached you, and you are measuring it against your own unedited version. You are doing fine.

9. Apologise. If you hurt someone, say so. Say it while you still have the chance to.

10. Forgive yourself. You were young. You made mistakes and some of them were genuinely bad. Put them down.

11. Make things publicly. Your voice is worth more than you think. Write about what you are working on and what you are learning. Over time the internet does more for you than a CV does.

12. Journal. One day you will want to know how this actually felt, and you will not remember. You will only remember the version you have retold.

13. Read. If books are not your thing, audiobooks count. There is more available to you than you are currently using.

14. Eat reasonably. The chocolate after dinner every single night adds up in a way that is invisible for about two years and then is not.

15. Be kind. Everyone is dealing with something you cannot see, including the people who seem fine.

16. Ask for help. Someone has already done the thing you want to do. Most of them will answer if you ask properly.

17. Give value first. When you meet someone, start with what you could do for them. It is rare enough that people notice.

18. Build a reputation for getting things done. This compounds faster than almost anything else. Being reliable is a smaller club than it should be.

19. Remember names, and birthdays. It costs you a note in your phone and it lands far out of proportion to the effort.

20. You are doing better than you think. Be proud of the distance already covered. This is early.

The one I keep relearning

Number four. Maintaining relationships rather than only making them.

It is the one I get wrong most often, because meeting new people produces an immediate feeling of progress and keeping in touch with someone from three years ago produces nothing you can point at. But almost everything good that has happened to me came through someone I already knew, usually much later than when I met them, and usually because one of us kept the thread alive.

The others are mostly maintenance. That one is the actual strategy.

Honestly, writing this was as much a note to my current self as anything else. Particularly number five.

If you are trying to work out what to do with the year in front of you rather than how to live it, how to set quarterly goals is the practical companion to this.

Frequently asked questions

What is the most useful advice for someone graduating?: That you do not need to have it figured out. Almost every good thing takes longer than the timeline in your head, and the pressure to arrive somewhere immediately after finishing school produces worse decisions than patience does.
How do I keep friendships after graduating?: By maintaining rather than only meeting. Most people put effort into new connections and let existing ones decay by default. Sending an update, checking in without a reason, and remembering specific things people told you costs very little and is unusual enough to matter.
Should I start creating content after I graduate?: It is worth doing if you have anything you are working through publicly. Writing about what you are learning tends to attract opportunities that would not have found you otherwise, and over time it does more work than a CV does.
Is it normal to feel behind after graduating?: Yes, and it is worth knowing that most of the evidence you are using is unreliable. You are comparing your unedited situation to other people's edited one. The feeling is nearly universal and is a poor guide to how you are actually doing.
What is the one habit worth building first?: Sleep. It is the cheapest available improvement to your mood, judgement and stamina, and almost nothing you produce late at night survives review the next morning.